Blog week 10

 Blog week 10💥

31/03/22

hello miss! 💖

I still can't believe I've already made 10 blogs, I feel like I made my first one recently, time goes by incredibly fast.

In the last class this week we learned what it was like to make a Narrative Paragraph, you gave us many examples and what it meant to make one. what I learned doing this last task with him was that I felt that I made the composition much more organized, making the list with the 3 steps is much easier since you organize your ideas, and practically you already have your story.I really enjoyed learning this new method.💓💝💟

Here I attach the task:

EVALUATION N°1 - NARRATIVE PARAGRAPH

Prewritting: list

A visit to the hospital

Topic sentence:

-          I never thought such a small act could make such a big difference

Beginning:

-          sick grandmother so we have to go to the hospital to accompany her with my mom

-          my sisters and I are not very happy to go because we find it boring

Middle:

-          we spend a lot of time with my grandmother

-          we realized that she is very lonely at home and in the hospital so we decided to do her favorite things together

End:

-          we realized that doing things as small as spending charity time made my grandmother very happy.

Drafting

I never thought such a small act could make such a big difference. One day my mom told my sisters and me that we need to go to the hospital since our grandmother was sick and that we had to go keep her company and bring her things, be it clothes, books and many other things that didn't make her feel so bad anymore. that he had to stay in the hospital for a long time, I remember going to my grandmother's room to collect things and feeling the house too big and empty after her house we went directly to the hospital Will my grandmother feel the same ground in the hospital as I felt at home?.

Something very curious is that we, that is, my sisters and I, did not get along very well with my grandmother. Well at that time we were very young but for some reason we found it boring to have to go to the hospital because she didn't have any games or videos or things for little girls she had books with lots of boring words and no pictures But my mom explained to us that it was important to go since we were her family so we went. I remember going in and seeing that his face was very sad his arm was connected to a device that would not stop beeping the room was very clean but the truth is that it did feel very lonely.

Upon entering my mother began to talk with her for a while and I saw how her face began to change little by little. She felt a little happier and calmer now that she was accompanied. Then I began to read one of the favorite books that she had saved. and I saw that her eyes began to be teary I wondered if something hurt her since of course she was sick but I realized that it was not that she was happy to spend time with her family. I realized that being something as small as reading a book or talking to someone or spending time with someone means a lot to another person so it was a very important lesson and momento.

 

 

 

Revising- Editing and proofreading

I never thought such a small act could make such a big difference. One day my mom told my sisters and me(i) that we need(change to “needed”) to go to the hospital since our grandmother was sick and that we had(change to “we needed”) to go keep her company and bring her (Add “her favorite things” insted) things, be it(“like”) clothes, books and many other things that didn't make her feel so bad anymore. t(T)hat he had to stay in the hospital for a long time, I(i) remember going to my grandmother's room to collect things and feeling the house too big and empty (add a comma “,”) after her house we went directly to the hospital Will my grandmother feel the same ground in the hospital as I felt at home?.(change to “Could it be that my grandmother feels just as alone in the hospital?”)

Something very curious is that we, that is, my sisters and I(just add “my sisters and i”), did not get along very well with my grandmother.(add a comma “,”) W(w)ell at that time we were very Young (add a comma “,”) but for some reason we found it boring to have to go to the hospital because she didn't have any games or videos or things for little girls (add a comma “,”) she had books with lots of boring words and no pictures B(b)ut my mom explained to us that it was important to go(add “go see her”) since we were her family so we went. I remember going in and seeing that his(her) face was very sad his(her) arm was connected to a device that would not stop beeping (add a comma “,”)the room was very clean but the truth is that it did feel very lonely.

Upon entering (add a comma “,”) my mother began to talk with her for a while and I saw how her face began to change little by little. She felt a little happier and calmer now that she was accompanied.(“,”) T(t)hen I(i) began to read one of the favorite books that she had saved. and I(i) saw that her eyes began to be teary I(i) wondered if something hurt her since of course she was sick but I(i) realized that it was not that(erase this part) she was happy to spend time with her family. I realized that being something as small as reading a book or talking to someone or spending time with someone means a lot to another person so it was a very important lesson and momento(moment).

 

Publishing

Topic sentence, Beginning of the story, middle of the story, end

A visit to the hospital

I never thought such a small act could make such a big difference. One day my mom told my sisters and i that we neededto go to the hospital since our grandmother was sick and we needed to go keep her company and bring her favorite things like clothes, books and many other things that didn't make her feel so bad anymore. That he had to stay in the hospital for a long time, i remember going to my grandmother's room to collect things and feeling the house too big and empty, after her house we went directly to the hospital Could it be that my grandmother feels just as alone in the hospital?.

Something very curious is that my sisters and i, did not get along very well with my grandmother, well at that time we were very Young, but for some reason we found it boring to have to go to the hospital because she didn't have any games or videos or things for little girls, she had books with lots of boring words and no pictures but my mom explained to us that it was important to g osee her since we were her family so we went. I remember going in and seeing that her face was very sad, her arm was connected to a device that would not stop beeping, the room was very clean but the truth is that it did feel very lonely.

Upon entering, my mother began to talk with her for a while and I saw how her face began to change little by little. She felt a little happier and calmer now that she was accompanied, then i began to read one of the favorite books that she had saved. and i saw that her eyes began to be teary i wondered if something hurt her since of course she was sick, but i realized she was happy to spend time with her family. I realized that being something as small as reading a book or talking to someone or spending time with someone means a lot to another person so it was a very important lesson and moment.

thank you very much for reading👀💝